It is most useful to be practiced with detachment unless certain levels of trust and understanding are achieved. In an ideal situation, it should not be nurtured with emotion unless you have successfully achieved your life's goals. Only then should you allow yourself to slip into its clutches in tandem with love. To engage in sex is to best be consumed with the energy that only carnal lust brings. Love is the final reward when all glory has been achieved. This has nothing to do with lust. Love should always be a mutual bond between two beings wherein you share everything from mind to body to spirit. And even then, you should take care not to slip into a realm of sexual vulnerability. Many time we hear of "crimes of passion" that lead to the demise of a persons character and even occasional incarceration. Had they had the restraint to see the detriment that sex is, they would have avoided the affair entirely. The outcome is never useful. Many a vixen has known the power of using their lustful prowess to gain dominance over a man simply to have him do her bidding and to what end? Only SHE would gain from the act. First in the pleasure of the sex if any, and then finally in the final fruition of her fulfilled desires by the unwitting dupe she had conned into doing as she asks. And for what? A few brief moments of pleasure followed by regret and a sense of obligation? In that aspect, one could almost equate that with prostitution. A committed woman who is fully devoted to her spouse of marriage is another issue entirely. They have chosen to be life partners and have either fulfilled the ultimate life goal or are working together to achieve it as a partnership.
It's the other type of sex that weakens. The single prowling male or female who stalks prey for the carnal thrill. It is usually the target that gets the shaft. Men do this also. A strapping young buck will try to lasso the older yet frumpier woman who may be powerful or rich all in hopes of snagging some fortune or the benefits of simply being a boy-toy. One tends to wonder, who is more despicable? The toad that trolls for the lonely idle rich or the fool who allows themselves to be taken in?

Now don't get me wrong, love is acceptable when the time is right, yet most of us confuse lust and love and subsequently find themselves in the most heinous predicaments because of such. No woman or man is worth losing ones life, home, possessions or children over. There is no gain in that, only loss.

So many times I have watched colleagues of mine, losing all hope of total bliss because they were the victims of the sexual weapon. The sexual weapon attacks in many ways. A man seeking a good time, would enjoy another woman's favours only to find her pregnant and he forced to either marry of pay for his misfortune. All the while, she believes she has what she wanted be it money or a husband or father for the child in the desire for motherhood. This leads to the destruction of the unit family. There are other ways to have sexual gratification without procreation. The darker sides of sex offer both mental and physical stimulation without the loss of ones self or property.

A case in point: I was once married to a Scandinavian immigrant. She was the prime example of a woman who would use sex as a weapon complete with the whole blond haired blue eyed sex-kitten package. She was a sex addict. This was not what caused our divorce, but it establishes the potential danger of said addiction. After our parting, she changed many things about herself except for that. I recently discovered that she is now a victim of sex. She had been keeping many boyfriends, allegedly a few at one time. They bought her things and did things for her until they either wised up or moved on. Currently, and this is where it becomes a sad tragedy, she, having no job, is being evicted from her dwelling and to top it off, is pregnant. A perfectly good waste of a great potential never seen to fruition.

Now, it seems in this case, she wishes to get a job and find a new place to live. When we were married, she was used to a certain lifestyle and attached to certain possessions. When she worked, she worked hard and save money and was quite good with managing it. She was mildly material. Afterward, she became more bohemian. Now she is both that and with child.

Within this, many questions arrive. Who would hire someone who is in their first trimester of pregnancy when maternity leave will be needed? Especially to a job that would give her the money to be as comfortable as she and the future little one would like to be. Who would hire someone who has a newborn to take care of? Politically, she is exactly what most Americans despise; another pregnant, out of work immigrant in our country who may eventually seek the aid of our tax paying dollars for support, especially if the child is born in America where they'd be a citizen by birth. There's no talk of support from the father so evidently he's skipping out and has no intent on supporting her nor his child. Were she to get the justice system involved, then he would succumb to sex as the weapon. This is destructive on so many levels that it boggles the mind.

How many high profile figures of power either threw away or nearly threw away all they had struggled long and hard to achieve over anothers sexuality? Former Presidents of the United States fell into scandals over mistresses and while some may have survived the incident, their records are forever marred in the eyes of history and are now common jokes of late night TV talk show hosts years after they are no longer in office.

Sports figures. How could one so popular and wealthy, let all they trained for fall to the wayside over a bubbly smile and a twinkle in the eye? Kobe Bryant went to court and spent many embarrassing months in the public eye over a sexual harassment suit. Tiger Woods fell from the grace of being heralded as the Number One golfer in the world, yet as he got more involved with his nanny turned "model" Scandinavian wife, he stopped playing well and slid down the ranking pole like a cheap stripper. Only years later did he return to where he was, but how much was lost during that time of his slump?

Why do people let these things happen to them? Men are especially weak. Women are another story entirely... Or are they? Although men are notoriously known for thinking solely with their libidos, many women find themselves emotionally enslaved to complete and utter scoundrels. They find an entirely wrong individual, fall into what they think is love, when in fact they had been duped for one night or for years. How many private detectives have sent their children to college from the revenue generated by the multitude of unfaithful lovers skulking about the world behind their spouses backs. One can plainly see, that it's not really about the sexes, but merely about the sex.

The unattractive yet successful will fall prey to the shallow, good looking villain or villainess who seeks to covet all they can. How many elderly stars or rich powerful people does history attest to falling prey to the "May/December" relationship, where the elder sinks so low into the emotional abyss that they actually believe the young stalwart they wrote into their will actually loves them? Now some are smarter than others and understand that they are truly buying the affection that comes with power and wealth. In a way, that's a form of prostitution..but at least one knows what they're getting into. Did Ana Nichole Smith really love billionaire J. Howard Marshall she married before he died? They met while she was stripping, married and he was dead a year later.

Did the efeminate Mark Harris really love actress Martha Raye? From http://www.imdb.com Martha Raye"...married last husband Mark Harris - an admitted bisexual - after knowing him for less than a month. He was 42; she was 75" This was a big scandal from the day they wed. However, I'm not here to write a gossip column. In the end, the bold and the beautiful ended up with the grand rewards.

Sex is a very dangerous weapon. You don't have to be rich to fall into its trap. Would Karla Homolka had carried out her sinister deeds if not for the goading of her beau Paul Bernardo?

How to control the urges:
It's not sex that's the factor here, it's the negative affects of it. Sexaholism can be as similar a disease as alcoholism. It needs to be controlled. One must stop to evaluate all the detrimental effects of it before engaging in it's accolades. Casual sex is fine as long as it's kept that way... Casual. Within that, one must take great care to not become locked in an unfortunate situation. The emotions swirling in wild animalistic passions can begin the downward spiral. It begins to intoxicate like a drug. If one falls into its clutches, they may doom themselves for the rest of their life. It's not the best thing to go and throw oneself into another's arms with wild abandon and without caution. Protection comes from far more than mere prophylactics, but from the mental fortitude to have a fraction of sense. If one has something of value to protect, on most given times, a person should learn to assess the situation logically first.

Allow me to bottom line this for you:

+An Epican seeks to be in control over all their life's emotional aspects and over other parties involved.

+Sex is ok if you can keep your head and retain control. Use it to your advantage and not to a disadvantage.

+Love is ok if you are a true committed partnership.

-An Epican will NOT let their guard down until they are absolutely sure of their emotional safety and will safeguard their emotional well being at all times.

-Sex is NOT ok when allow yourself to be a victim. If you are using it as a weapon, make your aim and virtue be true.

-Love is NOT ok when it is not returned and shared or when you feel you may have something to lose whiles the other party has everything of yours to gain.